Putting the O in OS
Dated: Jan 22, 2009
One of the fondest memories of an otherwise fuckall period of life.
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Normal boring day at college, normal boring drag that defines an OS lecture, and then suddenly this happens…
“So.. ehh.. yoo all boys is heer todeyy gud gudd.. todey topic is:
Alghorhythms fore Mammary Allokeshan”
*collective groan and mild chuckle from those who spotted the memory mispronunciation*
NOTE: I shit you not. This is actually what she gave as class notes. Doubters can kiss my ass and then go check page 201 of Operating Systems by Andrew S Tanenbaum
“In memory managers, the processes and holes are kept on a list sorted by…
Us being the sophomoric morons that we are, sniggered at the mention of “holes”.. knowing not the hilarity that was to follow. She made some frontbencher fag dictate, who crapfully pronounced it right
…blah blah blah until it finds a hole that is big enough.
That hole is then broken up into two parts…”
NOTE: From hereon think fuck instead of fit, like pretty much everyone did
“First fit is a fast algorithm because it structures as little as possible. A minor variation of first fit is next fit. It works the same way as first fit except that it keeps track of where it is whenever it finds a suitable hole.
The next time it is called to find a hole it starts searching the database of holes from the place where it left off last time.”
We were laughing out quite audibly by now
“Ehh yoo baays.. why yoo laff eh!? Why so funny!? Why so funnayy!?”
(which IMO is the bizarro version of why so serious?)
“Continue, Pratik” which in her accent sounded like ‘cunt-in-you’
“Another well known algorithm is Best Fit. Br.. uhh.. Best Fit searches the entire list of holes and finds the smallest hole that is adequate for the process i.e Best Fit tries to find a hole that is closest to the recommended size.”
The laughs got considerably louder
“Ehh ehh ehhh… aai seyy no laff! Why so funny!? Why so funnnayyy!?”
“The last algorithm is Worst Fit. Worst Fit always finds the largest available hole so the hole broken off will be big enough to be used by multiple processes.”
One guy quite literally fell on the floor
Poor girls in the class, sat awkwardly all the time; as for us, a whole bunch of high-fives were exchanged after what was the best class ever!
Another few random sentences from the lecture:
“In this way, all of them devote all of their energy in inspecting holes”
“The process can be sped up by paying an intelligible price in loss of quality”
“The first entry is a pointer with the head…”
