I was truly surprised by those pictures of rapper 50 Cent after he lost truckloads of weight for an upcoming movie role. What I did not know however, was that the dramatic weight loss would affect his rapping skills like so.
There are few things as delightful as chancing upon gold unexpectedly. While finding this video on my Twitter timeline (via @SahilRiz) doesn’t come anywhere close to the monetary benefits, it still made for a pretty awesome bout of laughter.
Dude goes by the name of Tarun Kumar Kushwah, hails from Delhi and wears a size 32 cup. This video was originally hosted on a Tata Docomo subsite. It almost redeems them for their god awful jingle and piss-poor commercia… wait, who am I kidding! No, it doesn’t. Docomo still sucks dicomo.
Anyway, I presume TKK has recently undergone heartbreak and rightly so he channels his despair, frustrations and anger through music. Or whatever those 164 seconds can be called. He baaasikelly dedicates his performance to all the boys “whose… girlfriends are… loose” and really, haven’t we all been there?
In case it wasn’t clear already, she left him alone. And he emphasises this by repeating it no less than 8 times, which makes me wonder if it were 8 instances she left him alone or if this guy was just thinking of the next line and making up this song as it goes. Those Whose Line hoe-downs have nothing on Rapmaster TKK’s killer verses!
Anyway after some 47 seconds of awkward improv delay, he comes up with no less than two lines – ‘She breaks my heart, she plays with my trust’ To illustrate these lines, he first breaks his keyboard with headbang gone wrong and then makes a full recovery to play with his… thrust (thankfully, off-screen)
Did I forget to mention TKK is an awesome beat-boxer/ting-tidading-tingading guy? And if that weren’t enough, he is also the world’s only air-nipple-stroking-guitar player. (On which twang sounds like trrring)
I don’t care about this
She is my heart
She is my life
She is my heart
She is my love
Well since he didn’t care about this particular verse, I didn’t much either. I did however happen to notice that fake Nike cap on him. No word yet on whether he plans to release official TKK merchandise – genuine Dollar Club baniyans, authentic Nyke caps and exciting offers on paper towels and hand sanitizers.
The rest of it is mostly gibberish that isn’t Hindi… isn’t English… isn’t even Pikey. At 1:45 however, his inner desires to indulge in coitus are expressed ever so casually.
I wish to faaaackk… but fear not ladies-who-are-now-interested-in-TKK-after-hearing-his-tragic-tale-with-way-too-many-hyphens, for he will love you. He will love you so much. So so so so much.